We are the traffic

The daily commute. Something that most of us consider to be a chore, part of the daily grind. We’re always trying to minimise this dead time and to control the experience as much as we can. 

My commute to work is driving in my car and can often feel like some sort of obstacle course/resilience test. First, there’s the cyclist who gets off at our local station and then cycles on her commuter bike with tiny wheels down a busy but narrow country road to get to wherever it is she’s going. I tell you something, she’s got guts and must have nine lives because I’ve seen several people nearly take the poor girl out. 

Then there are the roadworks. Little pixies must come and put these out in the middle on the night because when I drive home, they’re not there, when I get up, they are. I suppose it’s probably safer in the long run than playing the popular kamikaze game of ‘dodge the pothole’ (and less costly on the tyres when you hit them).

Then there are the lorries that reverse into the middle of the road thus holding up both sides. Sorry commuters, they just HAVE to deliver those bricks in the rush hour!!

And let’s not forget the people who drive up your backside.  It doesn’t matter if you’re already 10mph over the speed limit, they just want you to go faster, FASTER. And they drive up your backside to make sure you’re clear on that. OKAY?

When you finally get to work late it’s easy to blame ‘the traffic’ for making you late. But we conveniently forget that to everyone behind us, we WERE the traffic!

Although I’m now commuting by car, I once travelled by tube train and that was no easier. I’d try and stand in the optimum place on the platform - exactly where the doors would open, and also where they’d open closest to the tube exit at my destination. Sometimes this would work like a charm, and sometimes there would be two cancelled trains so three trains-worth of passengers would be trying to cram into one. This usually resulted in everyone being squashed in so close that we were practically making love to the people standing next to us - regardless of their serious body odour issues. And then there were the talkers. The ones who see someone they know and have to have a full-blown conversation with them. Anyone trying to do emails or read or sleep then glared at them. It’s rush hour, no talking!

So how can we turn this seemingly hellish journey that most of us have to endure into a happy experience, a thing we can look forward to?

Firstly, try a random act of kindness for your fellow commuters. I know! Bonkers eh? But kindness really makes us feel good. Try letting someone pull out in front of you in the car (you only have to do one), or giving away your seat on the tube (giving it to the pregnant lady doesn’t count - you should do that anyway). It will give you a little tingle. Try it.

Then have a look at your acceptance levels. How accepting are you of your fellow commuters’ behaviour? Are you expecting them to behave the way you want them to, to drive the way you want them to? Let me tell you a secret, they won’t. People will do what they want, so don’t waste energy trying to make them do things differently or getting angry about it. Try and accept that their behaviour isnt personal and it will make you feel calmer.

Do you want to journey through beautiful fields instead of an industrial estate? Try seeing the positive things about the place you travel through (that the estate is giving you a job).

Have a think about activities that you could you do on your commute that you enjoy. Could you listen to music? Read a book? (Better to listen to one if you’re driving). Could you find something purposeful to do like practise a presentation or a conversation you need to have later that day? (Better not to talk aloud on the tube unless you want to get some funny looks).

And what about being present? Could you admire the trees and plants you pass? Could you notice people’s houses? Or notice people themselves walking down the street? Even if you’ve travelled the same route for years, I bet there are things you’ve never noticed because you don’t pay attention in the all-consuming rush to get to work. Could you wind down the window and smell the countryside as you drive through it? If you’re on the tube, you might not want to focus on the smells, but you could focus on the sounds. Instead of trying to block them out, focus on them, it’s sometimes more relaxing.